This morning is the day I have been waiting for for several months, another chance to travel to Budapest to be with my brother Laszlo and sister Veronika. Its been three years since I’ve seen them and I must admit, I am a little anxious. I am filled with excitement and joy. I also am reflective. Everyone in Hungary is so excited as I and my husband and friends are. We are happy for the chance to be together again. And yet I can’t help but think of my birthmother who is not part of this joyous experience. She does not want to be part of our reunion nor is she happy about it. Perhaps she still lives with shame, regret or fear. Her secret of 53 years ago did not stay secret and that is something she can not or does not want to deal with. Sadly she is missing out on a wonderful thing. Another chance for the three of us to be together again.
The journey has been a long one. It has been filled with so many disappointments and frustrations. I have met so many slammed doors and dead ends that at times I didn’t think I could keep trying. Through it all, from the very beginning, I never had to do this alone. My mom and dad were always supportive and understood why I must search. When I married my husband took on this quest of finding my birth family as strongly as I did. As my children grew that also become part of my search and understood why I must continue on.
Today I am full of happiness and appreciation. I am glad I am stubborn and didn’t quit. I remember the pain and frustration of the search but more importantly, I relish and rejoice in all I have been blessed with. Thank you all my friends, new and old, who supported me through this search and find. Thank you Erin and Josh for understanding, helping and being my loves. Thank you Chuck for being by my side and holding it altogether when I didn’t think I could do it anymore. Without you I would have been lost. And Laszlo and Marta, thank you for welcoming me into your families. Excepting the fact I am here and loving me as if we were always together. We may have started as strangers and we may not be able to speak to each other without help from translators, but love is there and I thank God that we are now together.