It has been a week since I left Budapest and my family in Hungary and my head and heart are still so full of all the love and memories made. The opportunity to have two weeks to visit with family, friends and the sights of lovely Hungary again is one I remain most grateful for. When I look at the faces of all the people in my pictures of this trip and those past journeys and visits, I am still lost in the reality of it all..I do have a brother and sister who have lived their lives so separate and far from me.
The facts of the whole journey to find my birthmother is well documented and finding her has remained the one and only disappointment in the whole process. To find a brother and sister remains an unbelievable fact. I know it, I’ve experienced it but yet it still seems so unbelievable. Our lives are different in so many ways and yet they are also so familiar. Spending time with all of them is a joy that words can not easily express. Their daily lives are not unlike mine, going to work, paying bills, raising kids, spending time with their children and looking forward to holidays and family days.
My brother and sister are so kind and welcoming. Their lives and situations are different from each other and our visits reflect those differences to some degree. I spent a lot of time with Laci’s children this trip. My nephew Tomi has matured and grown so much since I last saw him three years ago. His english is wonderful and the time spent talking with him was fabulous. He is excited to start junior college and I know he will do well because of his strong desire to have a good life and one in which he can help his family. The three girls were all typical teenagers and a joy to hang out with. A day spent back to school shopping was a real treat. It will be a day the girls and I will never forget, filled with first time experiences for us both. Patrik, the youngest of the bunch, requested a day at the zoo. What fun it was to have the children explore and have fun just being kids. It was the first time I was totally on my own with just the kids and it was a day filled with fun. The time spent with them made me so happy. I hope to be able to spend more days like this with them all.
While time with my brother’s children is so easy the time with my brother, although so special, is filled with joy and sadness. His need to want to get his mother to talk to me and tell me about my birth father is a source of sadness for him. I love him so much for caring and wanting to do this yet I wish he would not. Our birth mother is not part of this because she chooses not to. While she is a significant part of our picture she is not the focus. I shared my views with Laci about this and I hope it will help him. He looks at me with eyes that express all his feelings and love he has for me. I know that he understands my thoughts about us, our birth mother and how we all came to be. We can not change the past or how others feel and think. What matters is what we feel and do. Our time together is our time and I rejoice in that.
My sister Marta speaks few words and yet we seem to understand and communicate with little words spoken. She has the same views as I about her mother and so the time spent is just about being together. Her gentle way she holds my hand or touches my face expresses all the joy she has that I found her. The time I spend with Marta and her family are filled with laughter and ease. Her children are adults and so our time together was spent sitting around enjoying wine, food and just being together. A day with them at Lake Balaton was a real treat. My nephew Peter and his wife Elena are hoping to visit the States next year and I look forward to them spending time in our home with us.
As we all know, life itself gets in the way and unfortunately Marta and Laci rarely get together. Being back in Budapest and having us altogether again was time filled with love. We smiled, we laughed, we shared our stories. We got to know each other a little better, got to be a family and I am so glad to be a part of that. Until next time..I love you all!!! xo Puszi!